For Parent-Coaches, perhaps the hardest part is needing to have two different, completely separate relationships with your child. To be an effective coach to your child (and a fair coach to their teammates), you cannot be their parent at practice or on gameday. And to be a good parent, you must endeavour not to bring your coaching home with you. 

Disconnecting these two distinct relationships can be immensely challenging. 

So, what can parent-coaches do to set boundaries for the benefit of their child and the other athletes they coach?

• Avoid talking about your sport on the way home: if your child wants to discuss practice or the game, that’s fine, but avoid bringing it up yourself. Treat the car journey as family time, and talk about other things. 

• At practice, you are ‘Coach’: or whatever name the other athletes have for you. But not ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’. This helps to reaffirm the coach-athlete boundary, while also showing your child’s teammates that they aren’t receiving preferential treatment. 
• Don’t over- or under-play your child: this can be tricky. Objectively determining whether your child warrants more or less playing time than one of their teammates — and striving not to overcompensate in either direction — is hard for all parents. If you’re in an environment that permits it, a policy of equal playing time could remove a lot of the pressure on you both. 
• Leave practice in the past: whatever happens at practice or on gameday should stay there. Sometimes outcomes might leave us or our child feeling disappointed, but these emotions should never come home. A parent’s love is always unconditional. 

Are you an aspiring or current parent-coach, or know one? 

Check out our article, Coaching Your Own Child – 5 Tips for the Parent-Coach.

Article added: Friday 08 July 2022